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Communication
skills
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Communication
is usuallly thought of as a one-way activity, so we talk about frequency
and clarity, throwing in good listening skills as an afterthought.
But real communication is dialogue - two way communication. The best
way to foster dialogue, simply put, is to ask open questions in a
supportive tone of voice with a supportive choice of words. |
What is your communication
style? |
Barriers to Effective
Communication
- Using
excessive authority, hence creating fear of openness in others.
- Preaching
open communication while only rewarding good news.
- Stifling
dissent in the name of teamwork.
- Asking
closed questions which elicit only yes or no answers.
- Promoting
a culture which places too much emphasis on unanimity.
- Being
too concerned to win the argument, so not listening to others.
- Speaking
down to people - in Parent to Child mode.
- Reacting
defensively to negative feedback.
- Speaking
in a judgemental tone of voice.
- Dismissing
the source because the person is not at your ''level''.
- Interrupting
because you are in a hurry.
Steps to Effective
Communication
- Listen
actively - ask open questions supportively - those not answerable
by yes or no.
- Thank
people for their openness - stress how much you value it - even
if you don't particularly like what they said.
- Point
to areas of agreement before jumping on areas of disagreement
- this reduces defensiveness by letting the other person know
that you agree in part - hence not attacking everything they said.
- Portray
any disagreement as simply a difference of opinion - controlling
your anger so as not to convey an "I'm right" - "You're
wrong" attitude.
- A negative
reaction will strongly influence the other person - either to
get angry back or say nothing next time.
- People
seek confirmation of their own views, so if you really want other
people's views, don't penalize them for not agreeing with you!
Easier said than done.
- Create
an atmosphere of partnership to reduce fear in subordinates.
- Promote
a culture of constructive dissent - though not to the point of
paralysis.
- Asking
questions creates a dialogue - this does not mean asking only
for facts. Engaging questions ask what other parties want to achieve,
what is important to them and what solutions they can suggest.
Avoid the error of asking factual questions that are simply enable
you to analyze situations on your own.
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All
pages written by Mitch
McCrimmon, Ph.D. and copyright © Self Renewal Group 1996-2008
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