Defensiveness at work

When criticized, do you ever...

• repackage your blunders so you won't look so bad?
• blame circumstances, luck or others when things don't work out?
• position the "facts" to create a positive impression?
• create excuses for not having done something?
• argue back forcefully?
• feel hurt and withdraw?
• get angry and vow to get even?

How to be less defensive

How receptive are you to feedback?

• These moves, and many more less obvious ones, are all defensive.
• A little defensiveness is healthy self-protection...like your immune system.
• Excessive defensiveness will prevent you from learning from your mistakes.
• After all, why do anything different, if all your mistakes are someone else's fault?
• Feeling angry because of changes imposed from above?
• Attack the stupidity of your bosses and you feel better!
• But this move can be self-defeating if it stops you from understanding their rationale and coming to terms with your own resistance to change.
• If you have healthy self esteem, you should be able to admit your mistakes.
• If you have low self esteem you will either be too hard on yourself for even small mistakes OR you will go to the other extreme and defensively never admit them!
• When you anticipate failure of a project do you start telling people why it will fail?
• You're setting up defenses in advance so you won't have to create them after the fact.
• Advance defensiveness can increase the likelihood of failure.
• Some people will even sabotage their own projects, when they start to think they will fail, if they can do so in a way that ensures their getting off the hook.
• Recognizing and avoiding your own excessive defensiveness is not easy if you have developed a pattern of protecting a fragile self esteem in this way.
• But you will not keep up with the demand in today's organizations to learn faster if you don't confront this issue for yourself.

• Understanding your emotions
• Controlling your anger
• How happy are you?
• Resolving conflict
  

• Assertiveness
• Managing stress
• Coping with anxiety
• Being less defensive!
• Burning the candle at both ends?