I don't like myself! I have low, low self esteem!

• This statement is an all-or-nothing, global judgement.
• You're saying you dislike EVERYTHING about yourself, there is NOTHING to like about you.
• In fact, you're unhappy about one or two of your traits and this is clouding your judgement about your many good qualities.
• Have you tried making a list of all your likeable qualities?
• Think of your strengths - all the things you find easy to do that others struggle to do.
• Then there are the things you like doing - chances are you are good at them too.
• Avoid discounting your strengths by saying ''That's nothing.'' or ''Anyone can do that.''
• What about things you have done for others?
• Ask your friends or family what they think you are better at than others.
• Next, get out of yourself as much as you can - the more we dwell on ourselves and our problems the worse we feel about everything.
• It can help to find a distraction - doing things we enjoy and are good at.
• Recognize that there are really only one or two things you don't like about yourself.
• Then ask yourself whether there aren't people worse off than you in these respects.
• And think again about who you are comparing yourself with - do you really need to be the same as the people you most admire just to be likeable?
• Most importantly , convince yourself that being likeable has nothing to do with WHAT or WHO you ARE, but rather how you treat others. You cannot change yourself, but you can change how you behave towards others - this is the real secret of being likeable.
• Suppose, for example, you don't like your looks. You defeat yourself if you moan and groan all the time about it, hence driving people away from you. If, instead, you focus on being nice to people, they will like you for that far more than they would even if you could wave a magic wand and change how you look.
• Anyway, basing our confidence on looks is a losing strategy for happiness - it helps attract people in the first place, but for longer term happiness, it's what's inside us that counts.