Self Esteem Stories

You have your own unique self esteem story: why you have low self esteem, how it affects your life, how you have tried to raise your self esteem and what successes you have had. Others are interested in reading your story to see what they can learn from your experience.

Name (Real or fictitious): Cally  Date: August 16, 2012

What would you like to share about your background, who you are?: I'm 32 yrs old and live in a rural part of Ireland. I work in an administrative department. I'm single.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)?: Guess I was perhaps born with it too but probably kicked in at school and got worse at secondary school. I wasn't beautiful, funny, smart or sporty so where do u fit in? Nowhere. I was bullied at school more mental than physical just catty girl stuff, rejected by boys, suffered awful depression during my teens hated myself and this has been the general pattern even to now. Have had relationships which have been too much to handle ranging from people who had addictions and I would try to fix them and in the end made myself unwell, with a bit of a breakdown. This is how I feel when relationships end and I generally beleive I will be on my own forever and it will never work out for me which makes me so sad. I'm going to be the only one of four children from my family to be unmarried, no children and it hurts to think like this like I have no real future or plans or anything which makes me positive or happy about my future. I've maybe go a bit better looking but deep down don't have confidence or truly that I deserve to be loved by a partner.

What have you done to raise your self esteem?: I have tried to speak to friends but you know how busy people can be and I feel that I'm a bit of a broken record. I do try to remember compliments but negatives always outweigh my positives in my head. I'm also had a bit of CBT which did help just wished I could keep my counsellor forever, but I fear I might always feel like this. I have for at least the last 16 - 19 years.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others?: Wished I could take my own advice, If you find inner strength walk on and walk tall. Spose try to think of a moment where inside you actually felt a swell of pride in yourself a well done, getting a job etc and try to focus on times.

Name (Real or fictitious): Melvin  Date: May 15, 2012

What would you like to share about your background, who you are?: Am from an African background.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)?: I made a resolve from my infancy that I will remain a virgin till am married. However a senior male friend whom i respected made me sleep with him after keeping that promise up till age 24 and so i felt I had lost my self-worth, I was no good and cannot stand by my decisions. I could no longer stand where issues of virginity are discussed even though am married now and above 40.

What have you done to raise your self esteem?: I tried to see it as past now and should not allow past events to weigh me down.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others?: Seek superior advice on issues you cannot handle because that was my problem. I suspected the moves but didn't know the steps to take to avert it that was why i became a victim.

Name (Real or fictitious): Diana Calderon  Date: May 8, 2012

What would you like to share about your background, who you are? I am a 25 year old woman, born and raised in Bakersfield, CA currently a criminal justice student.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)? My life during high school was a complete wreck, I was 5'9 and weighed over 230 pounds. As a result of my overweight I always kept a low profile at school and was a very shy and quiet person, so that people would not comment on my appearance. Also having a face full of zits and gigantic glasses did not really help boost my self-esteem. On one occasion I was even humiliated in high school for liking a boy who was fairly thin. I had told my friends in confidence that I liked a certain boy and my friends told his friend who in return laughed at me in front of my friend and suggested that their friend didn't like fat girls. Although I laughed it off and denied that I liked him, I remember thinking to myself how I could not wait to get home and cry my heart out. After this experience and spending such a long time tormenting myself over my excess weight I decided that it was time to lose the weight only it was after high school. Nevertheless, I lost 50 pounds and it boosted my self-esteem but not as much as I expected; You see, I always thought that thin people had incredible self-esteem but what I forgot to think through is that I was overweight in my mind, and that the shy girl afraid of anyone calling her ugly or making a negative comment on her weight was still very much alive in my mind. What I am trying to achieve by sharing my story is to advise people that may have a weight problem and have a low self-esteem that in order for us to be happy is to not only aim to work on ourselves externally, but instead try to shape our interior as well: such as our way of thinking. ourselves.

What have you done to raise your self esteem? I have learned to speak openly about my weight. Now I can actually stare at a person who may call me fat and tell them that my appearance is none of their concern. I have learned to appreciate every compliment any person gives me and when I feel down I look into a mirror at myself and repeat the latest compliment I have received. Exercise has also helped me relieve stress and increase my self-esteem because I feel like I am doing something great for my health.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others? I feel that if any person has tried any exercises to raise self-esteem and end up feeling worse do not hesitate and seek counseling. It is extremely helpful to speak to a person that listens to you and someone you feel you can trust.

Name (Real or fictitious): Abaho Date: April 23, 2012

What would you like to share about your background, who you are? am from a humble African background.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)? i performed poorly in high school and it keeps demotivating me. i am in my final year at the university but i have the vibrations of my poor performance on my mind every day and keep telling me " am a failure."

What have you done to raise your self esteem? i have tried to keep around big academic figures and successful people who motivate me and i am fighting hard for exposure.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others?  to always look at their positive sides and should fight hard to forget the past and enjoy the present.

Name (Real or fictitious): hanane Date: Feb 3, 2012

What would you like to share about your background, who you are? I'm an 18 girl, senior, tall, black hair, favourite fruit banana, favourite sport tennis, favourite player novak djokovic: he is hot by the way. love reading and writing. my goals are to get to medical school and write a book about me.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)? I guess I'm born with it but it get away worse last year when I felt like nothing so bacically school is the main reason.I feel like my friends who used to be nothing now are better than me,so I'm so jealous and I can't stop stop comparing my self with otherseven in the most boring details.

What have you done to raise your self esteem? I haven't done anything that has ever helped since it started.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others?  I don't think I'm aloud to do that espicially that I haven't done any thing about it

Name (Real or fictitious): David Date: Feb 2, 2012

What would you like to share about your background, who you are? I wanna show how even a proud, strong person that other people go to for help, can change in a bad way. Even the strongest person can fall down.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)? I'm not even sure how it happened.

What have you done to raise your self esteem? I haven't done anything that has ever helped since it started.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others? If you know who you are, and you know what you want, never let anybody take it from you. Be true to yourself, love yourself more, always.

Name (Real or fictitious): Mevino Date: Jan 19, 2012

What would you like to share about your background, who you are? am 18 years old! Middle class family, not mature completely,i go to college,am not confident,i feel am ugly and others say am attractive.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)? i have a bad smile,my friends usually make fun of me. I feel am not lucky at all. Am timid. I think a lot about what others think of me. I have no girlfriend.

What have you done to raise your self esteem? i usually use the internet to increase my self confidence and i usually talk to elders for advice.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others? never underestimate ourselves, live your fully without any worries.

Name (Real or fictitious): Maria McDonald Date: Jan 5, 2012

What would you like to share about your background, who you are? I was raised by parents that both suffered mental health difficulties. As a consequence of my parents problems, I learned negative ways of thinking about my self. I also missed out on opportunities in education etc. and my self confidence was effected.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)? Lack of relationships where self esteem was modelled. Lost opportunities which effected my self esteem. Past mistakes that caused a negative perception about my self.

What have you done to raise your self esteem? I have been on a long journey to build my self esteem. Simply put after many self help books, the Bible and many hours of self reflection. A relationship with a significant other allowed me to see the barriers to self esteem. My observations allowed me to take the shaky steps towards building my self esteem.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others? It's a journey, remmber you are valuable to yourself and give yourself the respect that it is all to easy to give to others. It's not easy to change what you think about yourself and it's simmilar to learning a new skill you make mistakes and have to practice so don't give up. Be aware that sometimes we can be our own worst enemy and the good news about that is that we can then change our greatest enemy into are greatest ally.

Name (Real or fictitious): John Date: Dec 27, 2011

What would you like to share about your background, who you are? I'm a college Freshman in South Carolina and I just made the Presidential list

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)? I was teased as a little kid and also physically bullied sometimes but not that much.

What have you done to raise your self esteem? I have talked to myself the way I deserve to be talked to. I know that I shine brighter than a supernova and i'm amazing. I've just been cognizant of how I talk to myself.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others? Just LOVE yourself! If you dont love yourself then you cant love anyone. Everybody makes mistakes and everybody has weaknesses but don't dwell on the past look towards the future. We can do it!! It may take some time but i'ts worth the wait. Anything worth achieving is going to be challenging but nothing that God and you can't handle.

Name (Real or fictitious): Jean Date: Dec 20, 2011

What would you like to share about your background, who you are? I am a retired teacher who has worked with Native Canadian children and earned A M.ED. on the theme of their optimum education.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)? Native Canadians tend to have low self-esteem because they have been put into a school system that is foreign to their language and culture.

What have you (they) done to raise your (their) self esteem? In researching psychological approaches to learning, I found a study that linked self-esteem with the ability to make independent and sound judgements. Some schools have shown that Native children derive self-esteem from a school system that values their language and culture.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others? Make sure your environment, school or workplace values you and your background. Refuse to accept bullying tactics and leave if there is no improvement.

Name (Real or fictitious): Shannon Date: Nov 30, 2011

What would you like to share about your background, who you are? I am a well respected teacher and community volunteer. I have traveled extensively, done my best to help others and I recently married a wonderful man. Yet everyday is a battle to put one foot in front of the other. The only voice I hear in my head is the one who tells me that I am stupid, or that someday the accolades I have earned or the amazing things I have gotten in my life will soon disappear when everyone realizes what a total loser I am.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)? Where does this come from? Who knows? I have spent years analyzing myself. Although I will say that the voice in my head usually sounds like that of my stepmother. From a very young age I was told I was wrong, or too sensitive, or in the way or worthless. Just a few examples. All of this happened when my dad wasn't around so I never learned to turn to him. I didn't want to rock the boat. But at 42 years of age, I am taking my life back!

What have you done to raise your self esteem? I am working one day at a time. I began reading "What You Say When You Talk to Yourself" by Dr. Shad Helstetter. I am going to clear out the negativity and see what happens when I give myself some credit and a chance.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others? Identify what is making you feel the way you feel. Take baby steps. You have been living with the feeling for a long time and it is time to stop! You are the only person you HAVE to live with for the rest of your life.....you better start liking that person. ;-)

Name (Real or fictitious): Gwen Date: Oct. 26, 2011

What would you like to share about your background, who you are? I want to be a performer.. Basically everything to do with the arts... But I have too much poor feedback, criticality and self criticism which really affects the way I am around people and how I communicate....I sometimes think I'm not good enough whereas other people are. I'm ashamed to say that I am basically a pessimist.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)? Poor feedback from people. Not standing up for myself half the time, self-criticizing. Dwelling on things that went wrong in the past.

What have you done to raise your self esteem?

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others?

Name (Real or fictitious): Lindsey Ross Date: Oct. 19, 2011

What would you like to share about your background, who you are? I am 18 years old, going to a University in Chicago, Il. I have been raped innumerable times by 6 men, starting 12 years ago and finally ending the end of this summer.

What was the main reason for your low self esteem (or that of a friend)? The main reason for my self esteem issues is the fact of my abuse. Ive been abused so much that I expect myself to have no confidence whatsoever.

What have you done to raise your self esteem? I have been through therapy and a lot of pastoral counseling several times.

What self esteem boosting advice would you offer others?

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See also Low Self Esteem, try our Self Esteem Quiz and the follow up page: Boost Your Self Esteem.

 

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