We blame things outside ourselves to protect our self-esteem but it doesn't help much in the long term. It's a natural defence mechanism to take the heat off of ourselves. Hence why we are so good at coming up with excuses, blaming circumstances or other people for letting us down.
Finding fault is easier than accepting the responsibility ourselves. Research has shown that we attribute our own successes to our superior abilities and our setbacks to bad luck while attributing the successes of others to good luck and their failures to a lack of ability! Talk about double standards!
How would your happiness improve if you won the lottery? But why do we focus on what we haven’t got rather than on things we could feel happy about now? Why waste our liives dreaming about winning a pile of money when we have already won an infinitely more valuable lottery prize: We were born!
What is happiness? People with low self esteem are unhappy with themselves. You can have OK self esteem and still be unhappy. This means that you like yourself but are unhappy with some of the circumstances of your life. You could be unhappy with your relationships, career, finances, how you look, a recent setback, boredom, being criticized or any number of other factors.
A sure recipe for low self esteem is to constantly beat yourself for your failings. To raise your self-esteem, celebrate your strengths and achievements. It's easy to overlook our strengths when we are in a negative frame of mind. Also, we take for granted the things we find easy to do. Anything we find easy to do is a strength but we discount it precisely because it comes easy for us. Getting honest feedback also helps.
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