Self esteem does not mean seeing yourself as the greatest person in the world. It's not the same as being conceited. Healthy self esteem means liking yourself, for the most part, as you are.

You can have OK self esteem and still have occasional periods of self doubt. How you feel about yourself depends on who you compare yourself with. Healthy self esteem means thinking as highly of yourself as you think of your peers.

Excessive self esteem = being over confident or complacent. OK self esteem is compatible with humility. Humility is not the same as self-effacement. The right balance should place you mid-way between grandiosity and self-effacement. If you aren't sure about the strength of your self esteem, try our self esteem quiz. Then be sure to check out the quiz follow up page: Boost Your Self Esteem.

You don't have to be happy about every aspect of yourself to have reasonable self-esteem. You just have to accept yourself as good enough. Bear in mind that, if your role models are so superior to you that you can never live up to their example, you may be putting needless pressure on yourself to live up to an unattainable standard.

Healthy self esteem doesn't depend on being wealthy either. It depends on what you expect of yourself. If you demand that you should be this and should be that, but these demands are unrealistic, you may never like  yourself much. So, self esteem is as much about having the right standards as it is about how you see yourself.

To build and maintain healthy self esteem:

Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Celebrate your strengths and achievements by regularly reviewing what went well instead of thinking only about problems or setbacks. We are so used to negative feedback that we are more aware of our weaknesses. Set achievable targets and get regular feedback. Change the way you talk to yourself - stop putting yourself down. Be sure that you are not judging yourself against unreasonable standards. Beating yourself for your weaknesses is self-defeating.

One way to boost self esteem is to read about the self esteem stories of other people. It can also help to tell your own self esteem story or to interview people you know to find out how they have built or maintained their self esteem. A good place to start is to tell your self esteem story today so it can be shared with others. You can do so completely anonymously if you like. Also, read the self esteem stories of other visitors.

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